Something everyone talks about and no one ever does

My college roommate asked me what I did with all my furniture when I left New York, because she was thinking of packing up her stuff and moving her family to Germany- a garage sale wouldn't be enough.

My initial reaction was, have your garage sale, but don't move to Germany. 

Tonight I was going through old emails and deleting them and I came across something my cousin wrote me- he said his wife was impressed that I was moving to Chile- it's something most people talk about, but no one ever does.

When I decided to move to Chile it was for two reasons- and I think first and foremost you need to have reasons- one because my boyfriend was going and we were at a juncture where we had been together long enough to know we had potential- but not long enough to make a long distance relationship work for the next 9 months, and two I was pretty unhappy in New York- I feel like I'm a New Yorker, but I needed a break- I didn't want to go back to work and I needed some perspective and when an opportunity like this presents itself you go for it.

The problem with doing something like this is people look at it and romanticize it- we both consider this time the happiest we've ever been- but when my friend was talking about moving my initial reaction was- don't it's really hard, and as Sylvain said- it sounds like she's sabotaging her life... That probably sounds dramatic, but English is not his first language... 

So I wanted to write today and maybe as things occur to me I will continue on this topic a sort of list of advice for living abroad. Sylvain helped me because he has done it more than I have- he moved to Madrid, Quebec City, New York, and Valpo and he's gone through a lot of bumps- for both of us, we consider it a part of who we are- we love the adventure- but we've learned that you have to set yourself up for success. Sylvain moved to Quebec City for a girl he had been living with in France and as he says within a couple months everything crashed- but he was able to land on his feet and a couple months later, at my doorstep. There are several variables when moving abroad and I suppose the biggest is language- he landed on his feet largely because he spoke French- but we also know that sometimes you move abroad for the sole purpose of learning a new language, he did in Madrid, and that was a big draw for me coming here. So if you are planning on moving abroad and you aren't fluent in the language, we think you need to have several other safety nets set up for yourself- a visa so you can work, and a network of friends are the two most important, plenty of money is the third. 

We think this experience is pretty amazing and we will have these memories to draw upon for the rest of our lives but it isn't a vacation in Hawaii. While our relationship has definitely benefited from the experience- we have both had trials and frustrations that go beyond culture clash (if you can't adapt to cultural differences especially a slower pace and more bureaucracy don't even bother getting a passport). Sylvain has had serious problems with his student loans and scholarships and after a month they finally came through a couple days ago- our budget is low to begin with, but not knowing when or if the money would arrive was a huge burden- in Chile it takes about 10 days for snail mail correspondence and his bank papers needed to be signed and sent to France, reviewed etc and of course nothing ever works the first time, so it needed to be done twice. We are getting overcharged by our landlord and I suppose we've come to consider it a minor evil that we will put up with for a couple more months- but this can happen a lot as a foreigner- not just with taxi cabs or other tourist traps, but not knowing things like how much bills can run every month (they are twice as much as in New York) and not speaking the language fluently can really screw you here. I had arranged to teach English but when I got here, the language school was pretty lax at getting back to me, "we'll email you with a schedule" I knew I wasn't going to be making a ton of money while I was here- but I was hoping to make enough to pay for my groceries, but the truth is, I underestimated how slow things work here and how poor Chileans are. In Africa it's necessary to learn English because all the jobs are in the tourist industry and all the tourists speak English, but in Chile most of the tourists speak at least basic Spanish and the tourist industry isn't booming so why would anyone need to learn English? I definitely miss working, not so much I want to kill myself, but enough to know I will be going back to work in January and enough to spend my time here appreciating the "time" that I have, and recognize the value in having a job I really love.

While both of us would recommend this living abroad adventure - Sylvain said this: "do it when your young and make it more similar to your house, but abroad- baby steps." I say, don't go because you think it sounds romantic and you're bored with your life or job- have a reason, a purpose(if you don't have a reason, take a one month vacation somewhere), and do all your homework- know exactly what your getting into and what you'll do if it all falls apart. I remember when my college roommate and I studied abroad in London- her boyfriend came with her, she spoke the language, but I remember her hating it so much much she went home a semester early- I'm not sure why she wants to move to Germany but I think that London experience might be worth considering. The rewards are amazing, but it's not for everyone.