Lawnmowers

I didn't always have such a hot relationship with my dad during my teenage years- part of that was the stuff all fathers and daughters go through, the other part was his snoring. It's hard to really like someone when they make it impossible for you to sleep- I'd have felt the same if he had with-held food. What makes it worse, is snorers seem to be enjoying their sleepytime to such an extent resentment inevitably moves in- because at least with my dad- you might poke him, throw a sock, yell daaaaad or roll him over to try and rectify the situation, but literally- and this is what always gets me literally it takes seconds for snorers to roll over, fall back to sleep and start their engines again. Hour after hour of sleeplessness your resentment builds- how is it they can sleep so soundly and comfortably while you lie there in hell and consider the situation- because you think- if I were just awake with things on my mind and thus unable to sleep- that would be bad but it would be quiet- but this - with the thunderous reverberations of this snoring engine and someone to blame for it- well this is cruel. And I've tried everything- which makes me even more resentful because I have to fix the situation- but has he tried losing weight, has he tried breath right nose strips, has he considered letting me fall asleep first? I've tried everything, ear plugs, pillow over my ear, but no, I can hear everything, loud and clear...

So when Sylvain's friend Gabi came to visit and started his own lawnmower at the foot of our bed, at least I had Sylvain to commiserate with. I don't know if snoring is only linked to being overweight, but lets call a spade a spade- I grew up with XL family members and they could all compete in the snoring olympics. Sylvain is a boxer and finds himself in the Super Lightweight category so the only noise he makes at nighttime is itching his foot fungus commonly known as: athlete's foot. We found one another starring back at each other, uncertain how to face our sleeplessness- since Gabi is Sylvain's friend, I wasn't familiar enough with him to throw anything or start shouting at him. I considered asking Sylvain to suggest Gabi roll over (I know this doesn't work, but it always seems like the first best option) but before I had a chance he was balling up a sock and aiming to peg Gabi. It was comic relief but did little to alter the situation. I made my suggestion, Gabi apologized, rolled over, and went back to snoring. The next day, I needed a nap.