Smoking Section

This easter my mother sent me an elaborate easter bag filled with candy eggs and chocolate inside were some measuring cups- the same ones she pointed out to me at Christmas that I said no thanks to (but no you don't understand! these collapse for easy storage!). For Sylvain the same elaborate bag with chocolate goodness and chewing gum, a lint brush. On the phone she confessed to me she had no idea what to get him, I said, oh, that's easy: nicorette gum.

So last week another package arrived and inside, nicorette gum and the patch. Sylvain, enjoys smoking, he's French, it's part of the culture, the lifestyle, and frankly there are none of those social stigma's you find in the states that demonize smoking or smokers. So while he was interested in cutting back, he had never talked about quitting. Personally, his smoking doesn't bother me, except for the fact that I shudder at the idea of the health problems he might face as a smoker, he's not a chain smoker and he smokes outside so as long as he's taking it easy I generally don't break his balls. Then Saturday he slapped on a patch, and I thought, what is this? The patch is for people who want to quit, it's serious, so I was quietly excited by this turn of events, but I didn't want to make a big deal about it, or blow it out of proportion, after all one day on non-smoking does not a non-smoker make.

After two days of not smoking, I was getting excited, but on the third day his friend Lucio shows up with some beers and I knew this was a test that Sylvain was unlikely to pass. Drinking and smoking go together like milk and honey, it would be hard to do one without the other. And Sylvain didn't, I pressed him to consider staying on the wagon, but I had come home too late and two beers in, his conviction was muddled.

It's hard to know how to be with someone trying to quit, because Sylvain has to want to quit and to want to quit enough to make it stick, the pamphlet says to get lots of support from friends and family so I want to try to be supportive, but without putting pressure or expectations on him. How do you cheerlead without actually cheerleading? He doesn't need me to get worked up when the social pressure to smoke is too convincing, he's not the type who needs someone to say, you can do it! don't break from the pressure! but instead maybe those fighting addictions, just need someone to say, so you had a cigarette, I still love you and it doesn't make you weak or bad.

I watched an episode of this show called Intervention, in the episode Gabe W was struggling with his addiction to heroin and cocaine. His family were all addicted to God and his father considered his addiction a sin, his lifestyle, a sin; that to save him from his addiction he needed to "get right with God". Thankfully the counselor was like, uh, yeah, that's just you judging him, he doesn't need that, it's nice that you have faith, but his addiction isn't about him being bad, it's about him being sick.