Fear Factor

The little girl I babysit for is full of fear. Everyday there is something new she finds to be afraid and she looks around at the world seeing it through the lens of fear. This of course is very sad but its also very interesting because although I've met a lot of people like her as adults- I assumed they lived in fear because their parents instilled fear in them being over-protective or whatnot- her parents are pretty average as far as I can tell- careful, but not nutty. So she seems to have been born with this fear because her sister will do or try anything without thinking twice. If the little girl falls - even the big falls- she stands up and goes "I'm okay" the older sister cries over even the smallest tumbles, ones that couldn't hurt even the most fragile of bodies.

The other day we saw a blind person using one of those blind person canes- she asked about the girl and I told her she was blind and like most 3/4 year olds she followed up with "why" (I could write a whole post based on how frequently she asks "why") I answered that either she was born that way or she had had an accident that caused the young woman to lose her eyesight. I did not dramatize the issue but the little girl was immediately driven to a heightened state of anxiety over potentially losing her own eyesight. I guess in a way she personalizes everything: on a daily basis either picking her up from school or on our way to and from the park we see children on their own- usually it's because they have run ahead to the end of the block while their nanny follows some distance behind with the baby carriage, or two sisters are together, or a boy is playing around on his own- the kids can be up to 9 years old but she is stricken with anxiety and says "where is that little boys mom or dad he's too young to be on his own". She is worried for their safety it seems but I think it has more to do with her own fear of being abandoned - although these kids are usually running around carefree or in fits of giggles, her assessment of the situation is fearful. Food is no exception, she is so fearful to try anything new, even if it's a food she likes i.e. chicken nuggets versus broiled chicken breast. I hope she grows out of this fear, but I think it is something she will end up tackling as an adult, because as of now it's really a lens through which she views the world and much work will have to be done before she feels confident enough to step out of the safety that she finds in fear.